Press Release: Secret Hackers Org Ends Black-Hat Days, Founds IT Security Firm

You've probably never heard of us. During our decades-long black-hat reign of terror, not a word of us was ever spoken to press or public. To know that we existed was to live in mortal terror of the ginormous array of mega-destructive forces at our finger tips, waiting to be unleashed on a whim. It would be like hearing that the "Bloods" or the "Crypts" or some other street gang had acquired nuclear weapons - in other words, something too terrible to imagine, and certain to induce mass hysteria.

But now we are pleased to announce that we've refactored our Raison d'Etra. We're no longer the feared team of notoriously unstoppable hackers, hell-bent on the destruction of technology as we know it. We're now a security research and consulting firm, dedicated to serving the computing public of the world, and available for enterprise-level IT security system design and upgrade projects (for an exorbitant hourly fee, of course.)

Given all of the resources we have just flopped over, from the black side of evil, to the white side of good, we expect our press conferences to draw a lot of attention. Each time we have one, it will surely be the teaser for your evening TV news, so be sure to tune in and follow our meteoric rise to ubiquity.

We are [drum roll please] the Cult of the Badly-Injured Rodent (of an Undetermined Species) (You've heard of those dead cow people, right? Well they totally ripped us for their name - we picked our name way before they were even baby dead cows, sucking on a momma dead cow's teat. We're like 10 times -- no 100 times -- more powerful and way way cooler!)

You'll be seeing us referred to most often by our elite-looking quasi-acronym: Cb-iR(s!D) (pronounced: see-bee-eye-are-ess-bang-dee.) Much as Manson's followers called him "Charlie", you may consider it our "friendly" name - but have no fear, we're on your side, now! So, ok, like, now you're thinking, "oh I get it, '(s!D)', exclamation point is the 'not' operator, so (species Not Determined)... whoa dude, tres cool!" (Yeah, huh... damn straight!)

Ok, enough introductions! As our first expert contribution to the global community of computer users, we are pleased to present:

The Cb-iR(s!D) Official List of Most Dangerous Threats to Safe Computing
So, to summarize, you can protect your computer completely by doing the following simple things:


Copyright ©2007 Mark J. McGinty, All rights reserved